Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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