Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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