come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
