I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
