We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
