I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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