found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
