Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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