East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Did you pee in the oven last night??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
