Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
