Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
