you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
