He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
