i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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