My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come share oat with me in your robe
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
