similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
