Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
