I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
