How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
