So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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