anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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