Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
