dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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