is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she looked like the before picture.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
