yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
false alarm. still invincible.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
