Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
