he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
