Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
