see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
