i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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