i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
