she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
