Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Barsexuality is the new black.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
