Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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