It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
