before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
