Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
