I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
