So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
