If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
