We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
