The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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