My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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