well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
