My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
