where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
