I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
