i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
