just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
