So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
