At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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